In the fourth chapter of Jefferson Bethke's book, Religion Makes Enemies/Jesus Makes Friends, he points out the difference between a religious response to the world's behavior and Jesus' example of how our response could look more like His.
He points out that our society helps nurture a competitive and enemy driven mentality. "We are trained to assert ourselves above and against each other" (page 61). I recall a pretty big football game this weekend between two rival teams in their league - Seahawks vs. 49-ers - to which I witnessed a great deal of competitive mentality. Of course, competition has it's place, but the aftermath and how people respond to it is the example here. And that is what Jeff uses to draw out the difference between a religious mindset and a Jesus one.
He details some of the specific competitions among denominations and then how Christianity, as a whole, competes against anyone who believes differently. "...we can't honestly think any non-Christian will want to come into the family of God if we are just as - if not more - divisive than the rest of the world. Sometimes how we dialogue in today's culture is just as important as why we dialog" (page 62). The how is a big thing in my own experience with conversations and/or disagreements - it makes a HUGE difference to my receptivity of what is being said if the how is done in a respectful and loving way. I can imagine that many people are like that as well. I can't attack or "bible bash," as they say, if I want anyone to feel safe or comfortable enough with me to trust or hear what I'm saying.
"Religion, unfortunately, is notorious for making enemies... it can almost always be traced back to people who think their standing with God comes from their own righteousness" (page 62). Or in other words, those who become self-righteous. I have had many seasons where I got on my soap box and behaved as though I was god or I knew what was "right" - usually followed by a season of being compelled to be humble and reminded that God is God and I'm not! I'm sure I made a few enemies in my self-righteousness, even though that has never been my intent. Jeff points out, "When Jesus told the first disciples to love their enemies, he didn't add, 'as long as they look like you, talk like you, and act like you'" (page 63).
This chapter (and the book thus far) has definitely made me look closer at how I respond to people. Do I detest their differences? Do I show them healthy love, as I am able? Even in the season I am in, I know I could use more of a love-based mentality toward my fellow man. "Because I trust that if Jesus' grace has radically collided with a heart, I believe that person will begin to align themselves with Jesus' image, looking more like him everyday" (page 70). Amen!
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